chrysilisdelta

a bit about the wonderful world of me

2008-11-07T10:16:35Z

Having learned the secret art of "stealing internet at work," I find that it is much easier to remain awake in between the cleaning and hourly bed checks.

This evening I was trying to work out a math problem, and I was looking for the ASCII exponent key (^) and didn't see it in its customary shift+6 position on my keyboard (because i was suffering from right in front of you blindness). I did see a key that had Z (superscript) z, which I took to mean, "use me for exponents!"

So i pushed the buttons.

and the screen turned off.

::panic::

I hear processing noises, so I press it again.

nothing.

I press the keys beside it.

Nada.

the hard disks whirr to stop.

::PANICPANICPAN... face palm::

It was the sleepmode shortcut.

::bows::

log in, find a quiz!

2008-10-06T20:47:28Z

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
no, i'm only engaged. :P
02) What was your dream growing up?
to be given the power to make people less unhappy. Now i just want to have a couple hundred k to pursue know ledges and crafts of interest without losing 40-50 hours a week to work.
03) What talent do you wish you had?
perfect pitch
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
bacardi 151 and dr. pepper that have been rolling around in your car for a month
05) Favorite vegetable?
potato and variants. non-starch? most greens
06) What was the last book you read?
Making Money by Terry Pratchett
07) What zodiac sign are you?
Gemini
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where. no,
unless you consider indelible blinding pastiness a tattoo
09) Worst Habit?
eating when not necessary
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
"If you see the Roo on your path, kill her.... or give a lift if you aren't a zen rooist"
11) What is your favorite sport?
To play? extreme badminton or calvinball. To watch? soccer and martial arts
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
I have a glass have empty with free refills outlook
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
I usually tickle people in close proximity. But I usually relent after
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
The slow death of my regard for humanity and actions based on empathy
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
I have a third nipple
16) Do you have any pets?
I almost have a dog
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
::squee:: apples to apples and munchkin!
18) What was your first impression of me?
As a person I'd like to hang out with, if sometimes startlingly naive and worldly.
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
depends.. are they from outerspace?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
About 120 pounds of adipose.
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
crime, i let melissa do the conscience
22) What color eyes do you have?
depends on the light, usually a pale gray-blue, but i've done yellow to hazel too.
23) Ever been arrested?
nope
24) Bottle or can soda?
glass bottle, then can, then plastic
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?. pay off one part of my student loans or my mortgage, maybe keep a k so i'm not so broke.
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
diners.
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
kind of. I think most ghost sightings are not conscious entities but energized patterns based on the imprint of another person. But there are a few conscious spiritual entities out there as well.
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
read, then sing, then play games
30) Do you swear a lot?
no fucking way
31) Biggest pet peeve?
unthinking reactions to ideological issues
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
eccentric
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
Yar
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
chicken curry salad from wegmans...::drool:: hmm. anything with cilantro in it
35) Do you believe in God?
thou art god.
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
apparantly yes

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

God damnit

2008-01-14T23:02:14Z

So we come home from the grocery store tonight, and Melissa turns to me and says, "We need to talk."

Thats right. We. Need. To. Talk.

The big four.

Then out of nowhere she's all "its not you, its my finances." She says we stay together, but sex is just too expensive with rising co-pays and prescription costs. Not even a handjob, its too risky... She actually said it was ok to masturbate on the back porch from 2-4 am, so long as the neighbors lights were out.

What the fuck!?!1111one one one

~posted from geneva public library, too pissed to stay at home~

New lappy.

2007-08-05T17:43:47Z

I got a new laptop, because the old one pooped out on me. This one is nice and small, so i don't find myself worrying about things like irradiated testes and whatnot. It runs real quiet and cool, and though the keyboard is alittle smaller than i would prefer, i seem to be having not too moany (sic) spelling errors. Yay new lappy!

That old black magic.

2007-03-28T02:31:54Z

“Now my charms are overthrown
And what strength I have’s my own.”
The Tempest ~Billy

I often wondered after Prospero. He sets sail for Milan with his daughter engaged to the crown prince, his dukedom reinstated, and his vengeance had in some pranks and the bettering of himself. Things are looking good for the old boy. But I foresee that his daughter would be easy prey for whatever intrigues surrounded the court. She sees external beauty as the mirror for internal goodness, and is old enough that shifting that worldview would necessitate a trauma. So his daughter ends up conned, corrupted, or damaged. But he has no Ariel to invoke to rectify his new trial, only piety and the resources of his estate. Milan was a rich province, but there were other nobles of greater and equal influence. Butting heads with established lords in advanced age strikes me as a losing proposition. I don’t think it would take too much pressure to send Prospero digging into esoteric libraries to take the strain from his remaining years.

Thus begins our continuing series on "Life after the Epilougue." Feel free to suggest notable (or otherwise) literary figures for discussion.

best tv show EVAR

2007-02-07T01:06:08Z

quote from the show "moving up," where three families move into the other's homes as they move out. introducing one family the announcer says, "And bob, annah, and sushi* have lived here for 16 years, and sushi has been through a lot." cut to annah- "He has brain seizures from gettin' shot in the head." later on.. "he has renal failure." "...we put a lot of money into reconstructive surgery."

poor sushi.

*names have been changed to amuse me.

normally, i don't do these, but since i'm out of practice...

2007-01-16T15:51:30Z

现在几点： 2007年01月16日星期二 10点40 分
你的全名：若杰名
你现在正在听谁的歌： Rockapella
你在哪里读书（工作）：纽约州 Ontario 县 Geneva 城: Hobart 大学毕业，帮助
残疾人
你最后吃的一样东西是什么：羊肉串(自己煮的)
现在天气如何：在房子内雪了
现在戴隐形眼镜吗：我也戴一般的眼睛
上一次吹□烛的数目：我不明白了，可是我认为意思是“你几岁。” 二十三次
你通常吹熄这些□烛的日期：我猜对了！6月11日早上 8点32分 ET
你们家养过什么: 没有宠物，可是我女朋友想买狗。
星座：双子星座
兄弟姐妹和他们的年龄：哥哥，二十六岁
你有纹身吗：也没有
你喜欢目前的生活吗：我起床快乐，去工作，入睡哭了。
喝过酒吗：有的时候
暗恋过几个人：现在一个人，在生活内除了家人以外四个人。
会因为害羞而不敢跟人表白吗：谁没设法从来没有成功
喜欢吃的东西：我的胖说“都菜好菜！！11oneone
喜欢喝什么：绿茶，水，可口可乐
最喜欢的数字：三，十七，二十三，四十二
最喜欢的电影：国产凌凌漆，五十先约，Princess Bride，也很多了。
喜欢看的哪一种电影类型：科幻片,动作片, 艺术片，记录片
最喜欢的卡通人物和品牌：我不能决定
最怀念的日子：我不想告诉你在共网。
最伤心的经验：什么都想不起来，但是应该跟那位漂亮女人有关系。
最喜欢星期几：星期日
最喜欢的季节：春天
喜欢的花：白玫瑰
喜欢的运动：功夫，走路
喜欢的冰激凌种类：我的胖不喜欢重说
最怕什么东西：女人。。。
如果有来世：糟糕。。。
最讨厌做的事：运动，也工作
喜欢的事：跟女朋友化时
想做什么职业：不知道
你们家住几楼：四楼，可是我只住在一楼。
你觉得碟仙如何：“赐了” ~Nietzsche
你觉得自己十年后会在哪里：在中国，很多城。在美国NJ，纽约，PA，DC。
寄这封邮件给你的上一个人是谁：女朋友
无聊的时候你大多会做些什么：唱歌，看电影，听WINAMP，看书，画，看电脑
世界上最恼人的事：还没世界安。
世界上最好的事：诗歌
觉得同性恋如何: 还可以
对于没有把握的事情态度如何：Google 它。
如果有人误会你：在卧室哭而已。
有想过要怎么对付你讨厌的人吗：我不管别人。
通常几点上床睡觉：：半夜三更
你猜谁会最先回这封信：我恨猜。
最不可能回复的人：没有人
你现在最想见的人： Melissa (我女朋友)
有想过自杀吗：有
最希望谁回信：::shrug::

Trust the...

2006-12-01T22:46:24Z

Proverbial Stone

2006-11-07T04:32:27Z

Apparantly this is not a normal way to present ideas in a conversation.

Melissa "Why didn't you hang up my pants?"
Me "My feet were cold and my computer was buggy (warm laptop in need of fixing), so two birds"
::inside my head:: hence the proverbial stone. hmmm... how could i use 'proverbial stone' in a different way in writing... i don't write funny things except gaming modules
Me "next time i write a game, i'm going to have an item called the proverbial stone."
Melissa "?"
Me "it's just like a normal stone, but if you use a proverbial stone it yells random/applicable proverbs."
Melissa "Sometimes you say words, and they make no sense to me but you are apparantly very proud of yourself.

I decided to make a new userpic

2006-11-05T04:41:46Z

I also have hit a deer and had to clean shit from the floor. The end.

cus everyone else is

2006-09-07T14:55:58Z

My Personality


Neuroticism	83
Extraversion	47
Openness To Experience	70
Agreeableness	18
Conscientiousness	41

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report

MySpace Codes, MySpace Layouts and hi5 by Pulseware Survey Software

excerpt essay

2006-09-02T04:22:43Z

I came across an essay contest about having the job from hell, so I pulled out a slightly less grammatical version of what you are about to read. It is still, like just about all the stuff on my journal, in a rough stage. I'm sure you'll forgive me. Or not.

Some would have you think that there is only one determining factor to a hellish job: the evil boss. This archetype, however, leaves those of us suffering in other torments feeling left out at the water cooler-hence this submission.

My manager, as it happens, is very nice. Her only flaw is one I’ve found typical of those in management: she doesn’t do a whole lot and makes twice as much as me.

And no, it isn’t my coworkers who have me fondly contemplating that sheer drop into a deep, deep lake on my ride to work each morning. It’s the shit, you see, which has this job firmly nestled against Satan’s frozen scrotum.

I am a professional ass wiper.

My job title is technically “Skills Instructor,” and my job is, allegedly, to teach living skills and behavioral management to the mentally incompetent. Training self-sufficiency to the profoundly retarded is a long-haul process, with years dedicated to simple things like basic hygiene and dressing. After 40 years of habilitative training, wiping is still out of reach for two of the men I work with.

One is completely incontinent (he pisses and shits everywhere he goes) and, consequently, wears a diaper. While it certainly reduces wear on the upholstery, it does nothing to reduce the wear on my sanity.

For those who’ve never changed a diaper or been present for the blessed event, here’s a little equation to remember. Big dooky = crap in every crevice. Now, this isn’t so bad with a baby because 1) they’re small and 2) they don’t produce much waste. In adults, however, there’s a greater surface area, including a wholly non-satanic scrotum and much more shit.

The other gentleman is small, hairy, verbally abusive and violent. He will come running naked out of the bathroom to the nearest staff (which is invariably me) and say, on the best of all days, “Wipe please!” Then he will stand still and graciously allow me to pry dingle berries from his tangled anal mane. Sadly, it doesn’t always go this well.

On a bad day, it begins with “Wipe, ba-ba-bitch.” Then he’ll shove you into the bathtub. Halfway through the process, assuming you did not lose consciousness in the bathtub, he decides you aren’t performing up to his exacting ass wiping standards and attempts to flee. Between his curses and shoves, I beg him to allow me the honor of cleaning his spoor strewn buttocks.

As one can imagine, toilet paper is one of our principle expenses.

rough

2006-03-13T14:45:24Z

Monotone Pictures

Words pulse, fragmented by the
Mere slit of eye to eye-
Words ripple like light.

How else would they bear those
Terrible burdens?
They fire with photographic precision;
Were generals so equipped,
How many wars would there be left to fight?
Clear as victory, history written for war
And policy, a
Vivid answer of none
And none;
Cruel as words must be,

One will cut deeper than memory
Could. Run,

Not knowing how they outpace
Escape, how each step
From them is one step to
Them.

on that note

2006-02-23T15:46:30Z

come check out my nohari and johari

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=Chrysilisdelta

http://kevan.org/johari?name=chrysilisdelta

the online quiz.

2006-02-23T15:30:52Z

surely it is an evil plot of the government, that we who have freed ourselves of the shackles of television (for the most part) would instead spend our hours ignoring the vast developmental resourses of this tool, the internet, on discerning whether or not you are a dark fairy or bright elf. yes little puppets, click the shiny buttons of your doom, as we carefully gather statistical data to further control your weak little minds. WHy am I the only one that can see it? Am I only sane man alive?

Orientation week

2006-02-08T12:42:23Z

Dear readers, it is hard, even for me, to find words that encapsulate the sheer dullness and complete lack of necessity in my "training." It is geared towards people who are A) completely unprepared for handling people with severe disabilities, and B) people who never learned how to relate to other human beings. There is a single two hour session in the entire training that will prove useful to me- the rest is just time for me do to a little writing, since napping and reading seems to be frowned on.

On the other hand, I'm being paid to sit down and listen to this crap, so I guess it's all good.

Attention!

2006-01-30T19:32:53Z

I just burned my butt on the radiotor in the bathroom.

it takes a mind of winter...

2006-01-27T16:44:07Z

I always enjoy a good biographical sketch with breakfast, and this morning's belonged to Wallace Steven's. For whatever reason, I found this line vastly amusing. so here it is

Wallace Stevens seems to have been the sort of person who not only didn't allow anecdotes to happen to him, but who also almost didn't allow life to happen to him--at least the kind of life we romantically associate with fine poets. No illegitimacy, drugs, drunkenness, wenching, war, inversion, disease, tragedy or even travel. He was born in Reading, Pa., in 1879; went to Harvard in the fall of 1897; left for New York in 1900; failed at journalism and at law; joined an insurance company; moved with it to Hartford; eventually became its vice president, and was eulogized by its house organ on his death 15 years ago as "an outstanding attorney in the bond claim field. " His wife didn't like his poetry.

~http://www.nytimes.com/books/97/12/21/home/stevens-biography.html

Jobby stuff

2006-01-26T17:47:16Z

For those of you who read me journal but don't know about my Job, all one of you, a brief description, and a concern.

I am a full time program sub for Ontario ARC. If I work there for six months, I get a two dollar pay raise, twice as much vacation, and the title of Skills Instructor. My job is simple: maintain the health and home of a few guys with developmental disabilities, from laundry to toilet care to behavioral redirection. They really are a good bunch of people, and I enjoy working with them for the most part. The staff are also friendly and helpful, and I've had it pretty easy so far. Basically, I watch the routine, model my behavior off the other staff, and jump in where I see that I can be off use.

Today one of the staff was fired. THis means they either did nothing or abused the residents. Since I've watched this staff hard at work, it was abuse, most likely emotional or mental. But company policy, since the staff was reported by another staff, is not to discuss the reasons for the removal, because that would reveal who did the reporting. So, this leaves me to piece together my own interpretations of what the hell they did to get shit canned. I'm pretty sure I know where the line is, and even where the staff went wrong, but I don't know if other parts of my training may be tainted now.

Crap.

Sooo.. I'm going to chat with my house manager.

Oscar gone WILDE!

2006-01-19T17:24:19Z

I finally got around to peeking at Picture of Dorian Gray. Accepting that the style of the period is one I'm not overly fond of, it still is a little lacking in the earlier chapters, set as it is as in the form of a Platonic dialog on Wilde's opinions on art and human nature. Still, at times his language is very interesting, and the philosophy isn't completely devoid of interest. We'll give it a 6 so far, and return to the matter later. For now, I'm off to drop off a lunch for melissa, then on to my 10 HOUR SHIFT OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

TOday i did something...

2006-01-18T15:54:21Z

and will continue doing things until late this evening. Perhaps today I'll get to bathe or toilet someone ::wiggles with extremely false joy::. I have my car insurance sort of wrapped up, I'm goin to go get my ny plates after lunch, and will likely get inspected tomorrow. NOw all i need to do is finish the dihes before 1230 or so (which isn't as simple as you'd think) write a bazillion poems, and maybe a novel, learn three bajillion chinese characters and their grammar patterns, and i'll be all caught up with my goals. Oh, and lose a hundred pounds.

i didn't

2006-01-17T21:31:41Z

today is an i didn't day. I meant to do a couple things, but instead i took a really long nap. i feel great though. so i guess it's a trade off, well being and productivity. Yesterday was my first day as a house aid for the developmentally disabled. It's interesting. thats all i have to say about that.

On another note, the landlord is trying to boil me in my skin and devour my flesh

a triolet

2006-01-12T15:34:09Z

examples look like this,
paper gowns cheaply discarded-
split open in a rapists kiss.
examples look like this-
photographs you never miss
memories gently martyred.
examples look like this,
paper gowns, cheaply discarded.

I'm alive

2006-01-02T22:40:17Z

in case you're wondering.

I started writing a poem

*. Chorus

Dissolution is in disillusionment
of the postman
collecting letters returned unstamped,
stamped read "postage due". Those
lost little postal selves,
lacking chances to return (
not to mention proper means of address
to the careless assembly
)suffer like any of the poor:
shuffled from label to label, oblivion in
oblioviousness. It takes a hero to save,
wear away the sickness of the home, dress
and undress these thoughts in his thoughts.
The letters wrote one out of him, though

&. Exposition

It was Palmer that penned sentence to
his unfragmented sentience, set our courrier
swiftly plodding loopholes to lay down his
guilty burdens, menagerie of mindful guises, still
enveloped until here is gone.

@. Here is Gone

I've been lingering over a cough and sore throat, christmas gifts of assorted viri (Which I killed)and bacteria (possibly not dead). I start working with the developmentaly disabled fairly soon, so I'm told, and am looking for other work to keep me in good gracies with my gracious sugar momma. Tootles.

thoughts

2005-11-23T13:33:58Z

Dear Friends

I am writing to you about the severe shortage of voyeuristic joy I am receiving from peeping into your lives. Make something happen solely for my entertainment

Thank you for your time.

~Rob